This year for me has been a little odd if I'm honest. Not from a work sense but more from a personal one. We're now in our fourth year so in terms of our business we really can't complain at all.. we've shot some amazing weddings.. met so many amazing people and travelled the country but watching everything through my little lens I started to feel like something wasn't quite right.
I felt like we had lost our direction. We were watching our friends move house, start a family and looking outwards it felt like we weren't actually getting anywhere... it felt a bit like we were being left behind. We had a lovely little house, an office.. we were booking weddings.. we were working.. we were managing to squeeze in socialising (even in busy season) but I suddenly saw us stuck on this wheel. Our outgoings were increasing so we were having to work more to sustain everything and although everything was ticking over there was no real opportunity to take that next step.. or take a breath.. or plan.. or to appreciate and reflect on anything. We kinda stopped thinking and just kept doing.
And if I'm a little more honest it started to effect me physically. For about 9 months now I have had a breathing problem that I now know is anxiety. It comes and goes but it feels like I simply can't get enough air.. so I constantly have to try and take a bigger breath. I've also started to feel anxious (like ridiculously nervous about nothing in particular) to the point where it's actually giving me chest pain. I can feel the adrenaline and there's simply no reason for it to be there...
So this next year is about making new plans.. I suppose you could call it a bit of a bucket list if you like. We've both written a list of things we'd like to do and instead of just talking about it.. we're just.. gonna.. do it. We want to do some travelling.. do a lot more personal work.. spend some quality time with people close to us.. spend some more quality time together and really start to make some memories that are purely for us..
We'll still be shooting weddings (but possibly a few less) and as travelling is up there at the top of the bucket list we'd be interested in hearing from any peeps that need a wedding photographer in another part of the world.. or a workshop.. or a collaboration.. or volunteering.. or speaking.. or just hanging out.. we're kind of opening ourselves up to anything..
..and it feels good...
|All images taken by our good friends Jenn and Dave Stark|